Some Call it Crazy…
Mendoza, Argentina
Starting over. Several times. In your 40s. New ventures. New homes and locations. Giving up the ‘comforts’ and securities of a conventional life: the well-paying job and title at a corporation in NYC that I’d been with for 5 years, that I worked my @ss off to ‘achieve’. The gorgeous physical home I made for myself in my fabulous Brooklyn apartment. Material possessions. Living life in NYC (need I say more?). The full social life that kept me going non-stop. Ok, the pandemic didn’t give me a choice with that one, but you get the gist.
If I had a $1 for every time I share nuggets of my ‘unconventional’ life and I’m met with wide eyes and respective remarks… I’d be able to buy the dreamy villa in the Mediterranean.
Like:
~ Wow that is so brave and courageous of you! I could never…. (technically a compliment, but…)
~ Aren’t you lonely?
~ But why? What is so great about living in (fill in foreign country)?
~ There are so many great places in the U.S. to live…why would you want to live outside the U.S?
~ Why would you want to give up everything you’ve built and have in the U.S. to start over (now approaching possibly my 4th time:) Especially in your 40s?
~ Don’t you want to settle down and have a home of your own somewhere or permanent roots?
~ Don’t you want to get married? Or be in a committed relationship? How is that possible when you’re all over the world?
~ How can you find a group of core friends and community when you change where you live?
~ What about xyz and abcd?
and the opinions go on.
And to be clear - these questions and comments aren’t limited to just my family or people in the U.S.; Argentinians couldn’t figure me out lol.
And yes - I said opinions. Because these sentiments are just that - someone else’s view point on my situation, that comes from their life experiences and belief systems. To which they're entitled to! It’s what I/we do with someone’s opinion is where our (super)power is.
Stay with me here… as this is something I’ve been exploring and navigating over the past 4 years amid massive changes, both internally and externally. To the outside world, people ‘see’ my lifestyle, living abroad, traveling that looks glamorous (to some; to which I will say, I am living a life by design, so dam right, I am incorporating glamour into my life!) Yet, few see and know the other half of the story. The personal growth and changes going on inside. I like to half joke and ask ‘who signed me up for this path and to be the pattern breaker’, because once you start making the changes, they only come faster and more intensely. That isn’t to scare anyone from making a change! But if you’re walking the path and are doing the work, you get it. You don’t need to be told (though sometimes its nice:) that you are indeed healing yourself, generations past, present and future and so much more.
Which brings me back to these conversations. An earlier version of myself would immediately get defensive and firey and uncomfortable and insecure when asked these types of questions. And in full honestly, I still occasionally get triggered (I’m human). The ego has a field day with challenging the confidence I’ve worked so dam hard to have. What I’ve discovered and affirmed is that when my connection with myself was/is not strong, when things are murky, heavy, challenging and not going as we would like them to go, it can be easy to let doubt and negative self talk creep in. Its not easy in the moment, (ok it can be painful and emotional tbh) what I’ve come to understand is that the ‘challenge’ is part of the up level and truly is an opportunity for you to choose how you respond (inward and outward) differently.
For context - My favorite ‘thought’ is: ‘What is wrong with me?’
Darling, absolutely nothing is wrong with you!!!!
You’re navigating this crazy thing called life that has no playbook and that each of us were given a different journey.
This one took me until the past year to find peace with, as I was enjoying my life and the magic in Buenos Aires. Yet there are things I would like (community and partnership specifically) that haven’t come together yet. And that is ok and why I am exploring and creating options. See what I have learned is when I connect with my soul (which was so lit up living in Buenos Aires) my self love, compassion, and confidence grounds me in being present. It allows me to ‘see’ and ‘here’ things for what they are - in this instance, when my ego spats this line out, my self love shines and gently brings me back to focusing on the present (and not a trippy story the ego is trying to distract me with).
Also, when I’m mindful and present, it's easier to engage with others when they’re asking these types of questions. I do believe in the best in people. And I’ve learned to recognize when people ask questions out of genuine curiosity, and when they offer opinions, it’s their attempt to either connect or understand, and sometimes their own insecurities or fears surface.
And as I’ve been on this journey, I’ve been able to use both questions and comments to affirm and strengthen my connection with myself. I get curious and explore how I can feel secure and at home within which allows me to trust myself and continue on this journey.
What IS crazy to me?
Following the predictable path.
Ignoring our intuition.
Playing small.
Talking about dreams & not pursuing; yet wallowing in ‘woe is me’ mentality.
Living with fear / Living with regret.
Living out of alignment with values and beliefs. Which also includes not knowing your values and beliefs.
Maybe I am crazy. But I would rather be considered crazy than living a life that is no longer aligned and mine.
Triggered? Can you relate? I hope this created some curiosity - with anything! - in life.
xoxo,
Megan
